Rich and Co.

“…anger leads to less profitable outcomes in the negotiation process…”

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“…not only to interpersonal anger (when the other party is angry at you) but also to intrapersonal anger (being angry at the other party)…we don’t just negotiate poorly when the other party is angry; our haggling skills decline when we’re angry, too…”

“One way to keep aggression at bay is to have a goal or a plan in place before the negotiation even starts… a “set goal” condition…to negotiate persistently no matter how their opponent responded; others were put in an “if-then plan” condition, with the following instructions: “If my opponent makes a demand, then I will remind myself that s/he depends on me as much as I depend on her/him, and I will stick to my offer.”

While persistence was effective in dealing with aggressive opponents, having an if-then plan in place was even more useful — the negotiators equipped with this plan conceded less often, and ended up with outcomes as profitable people in situations where neither negotiator was angry.”

“To prepare for the negotiation, some of the low-power participants were told to set the following goal: “I will negotiate tenaciously and claim as many points as possible.” Others were told to stick to a plan: “If my opponent makes a request or tries to put me under pressure, then I will not be swayed and budge from my offer in small steps only.” Consistent with the other study, the low-power subjects negotiated better when they set goals and had an if-then plan in place. In fact, their results were the same as negotiators in the high-power condition. In this particular experiment, having a goal was slightly more effective than having a plan; overall, though, both solutions worked well for participants.”

Part of your if-then plan can also include a script of exactly how you’ll respond — in fact, thinking through your words ahead of time is a useful addition no matter how you plan to approach things. “Acknowledge the position of the other side and restate your position in the same sentence,” says Dr. Lauren Appio, a psychologist and career coach in Manhattan. “For example, ‘I understand that you would like to see this happen, and from my position, I need for this to occur.’ Using ‘and’ instead of ‘but’ here will help you avoid invalidating the position or needs of the other person, which may escalate their aggression.”

This language also suggests that you’re not exactly rejecting the offer — you’re simply trying to come up with a mutually beneficial outcome. Thinking about negotiating in terms of how both parties will benefit can go a long way toward mitigating aggression…It makes sense: When the focus is on value rather than loss, it’s much easier to keep defensiveness, and therefore aggression, at bay. And whether you’re dealing with a shark, a pushy car salesman, or a boss who won’t seem to budge, that’s a worthy goal.”


Written by Rich and Co.

September 5, 2017 at 2:09 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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